I love dreams. It's a wonderful thing that every night my mind can leave my body, yet return in the morning perfectly fine. Well usually perfectly fine, sometimes I wonder about nightmares. When I've had a dream, even if I don't remember all of it, it lingers on in me throughout the day. Perhaps good dreams give me something magical that lifts me up, and nightmares take something away that leaves me feeling abused, empty, and scared. Nightmares can be cool though, they are usually the most involved dreams with complex things happening all at once. Usually my nightmares consist of a monster chasing me. Sometimes it reaches me, other times I manage to evade it just as it's going to get me. I think it must mean some psychological thing.

D told me once that before he left his parents house he always had dreams of climbing up a ladder high into the sky. Then when he made his own life and became successful the dream went away. I think constantly being chased in my dreams must show my insecurities about things that are happening in my life. I tend to worry about things like college, money, school, driving, friends, family, etc. These things chase me through my dreams even though I try to evade them. Eventually they will always catch up with me.

When I see a scary movie, I'm not scared by the movie exactly, but by my own thoughts. I think people who can watch horror movies constantly must have killed their imagination over the years. Similar to how if you eat a lot of spicy foods eventually only extremely spicy foods have an effect of you. My imagination is very active, which is why I think I have such long, complex dreams. This means I can't watch terrifying movies, because then I start thinking up even more scary things. I can scare myself ten times more than any scary movie can. In many stories, movies, books, etc. when they are talking about something really scary they say something like, "it's more terrifying than anything you can imagine" That would have to be amazingly scary compared to what I can imagine.

I think my mind must be a weird place. It must be both extremely light and beautiful, and dark and sinister. Everything has to have that sort of balance within it. If it's not balanced between two extremes something is very wrong with it. So I suppose I have to accept the nightmares as I accept the good dreams. They're both part of me and they both help me to live in the real world by showing me the person I am in the dream world.