Life is going much better. I fixed some things that were aggravating me. I've been studying at the library a lot and have a laptop now, which really helped me get my essay written. Last week was really blah, but this weekend has been a breath of fresh air.

I'm trying to figure out how I feel about various things, because everything is changing. I don't feel bad about stupid stuff that was bothering me. It's weird how that just changed over night. Suddenly I feel more comfortable in myself, but I feel like I need to work out who this new me is. I don't want to fall into the deep end again and forget how to swim... Drowning is a terrible feeling.

I'm really scared of myself sometimes. I can be so happy one minute and utterly low the next. I manage to convince myself that I'm fine and then crash and burn. I feel so blessed to have wonderful friends, yet even knowing that doesn't always pull me out of a bad mood. And I'm confiding in best friends I didn't know I had. Lately I've gone through moments of feeling perfectly safe at times when it's just me and one other person, but then I feel really alone when I'm surrounded by crowds.

I'm such an angsty teen sometimes.

Le sigh.