It's weird how memories can suddenly just hit you. I was standing in front of my mirror when I suddenly got this familiar feeling. The way I felt when I was with a person I don't really know anymore. I almost felt like they were standing right behind me. This person isn't dead or anything; I just don't know them very well anymore. For a second I felt like I did when I knew them well. A feeling of familiarity and recognition. Made me feel sad inside.
Chris and I hung out this evening. Walked around downtown for a few hours just talking. It was nice. It's nice just to talk sometimes without really doing anything. My legs are tired now though and flip flops are not the best footgear for walking long distances.
I really don't like doubting myself. Feeling unsure about decisions I've made. I know I'm not expected to like my imperfections or get over mistakes I've made, but sometimes I feel that I dislike myself too much. Or rather, I criticize myself too much. I hate saying the wrong thing and saying something stupid and not realizing till later on that it was a stupid thing to say. Especially when at the time I thought it was an incredibly brilliant thing to say and then later I know without a shadow of a doubt that not only was it stupid to say but embarassing. I hate that.