It's amazing how close I've become with some people. I'm so lucky to have amazing friends. It's so nice to know that I have that support and love. I can face my last year of high school knowing that my best friends are going to be there with me. I'm worried about one of my friends. He's been very sick lately and been to the doctor several times. I really hope everything's fine and it's nothing serious. Him being sick has made me realize how much our friendship means to me.
I drove around a lot today. My last unofficial day of summer. Tomorrow I have band camp at the school, tennis, and a band bbq. Tuesday I have the same schedule without the bbq and it looks like I might have tea with Chris that evening. Then school begins. Half of me is dreading it, while the other half is very excited.
I feel really bad about another one of my friends. I think I've hurt him a lot and there's nothing I can do about it. I've just tried my best to be honest and fair with him, but it doesn't make the situation any better. It seems like whenever I finally think I've resolved a problem, it springs right back up again. I wish he'd just move on and we could keep our friendship the way it is. I'm not sure if that's possible anymore though.
Driving down an open road with my music blaring. Singing so loudly my voice cracks. My eyes feeling so dry, with a gnawing pressure building behind them. Feeling like the roof of the car could explode and I could fly out into the sky and never come down. That deep hurt in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel like I'm drowning.
Hit the red light. Take a deep breath. Turn the music down. Return to Earth.